I’d forgotten to keep singing

 

This blog…..

 

Quite honestly,  I feel moved to tears.  Something has gone on and I really hope you ‘get it’.

Have you ever been on a spiritual journey? A path?  An awakening?  A shift?

 

I’ve known for 3 years now that my life has taken new pathways leading to different directions causing a myriad of feelings and emotions along the way.  Funny thing is,  sometimes you can try too hard.  This in turn makes you want something so badly that you wouldn’t be one bit shocked to see it manifest.

Now,  when you forget about this stuff and then it takes its own pathway, basically that is asking for a big shock to come your way.  For me personally,  this has happened like a big hammer over my head lately.

 

Since I was a child I’ve written.  My life is writing.  I love it!

 

Problem approaching:  I’ve a big time limiting belief which comes from hard working parents.  In my own headspace,  I created the illusion that people like us needed to work silly hours each day,  likely on a minimum wage and hope and prey with fingers crossed that we might pay the mortgage.

This educated me somewhere into the land of workaholic-ism.  

Two good things about this:

1.  I’ve learnt so much on the path that I’ve now got some awesome stories to write and 

2.  Doing what I’m kinda not meant to be doing has shown me how great it is when I do do what I should be doing…..phew…keeping up?

 

Look back at the blog title.  I’d forgotten to keep singing.

 

I used to sing.

Constantly.

Anywhere,  anyhow.  

Don’t get me wrong,  there’s no X Factor finalist in me here.  Holding a note is somewhat easy if I stop trying too hard.  Singing and dancing is like a legal and safe drug to me.  Though recently I noticed I’d stopped doing both.

In actual fact,  I’d stopped doing pretty much everything.  What was fuelling my flame right now?  Pretty much nothing….I was coasting…. that was it.

No wonder I was feeling pretty low.  So ok,  what flipped that realisation for me?  I was watching Pitch Perfect with my perfect daughter…..if you haven’t seen a feel good movie lately,  I’d highly recommend this.

Through the power of song,  they told so many stories throughout the film and every note being hit with ease and power (unless it was designed not to) filled up my goo-ss-ee-bumps with goosebumps.

The finale told a real story that you may or may not have caught onto at the beginning of the film which involved a song (no spoilers coming, promise) which struck gold.  Within the emotions of the actors and the flow of passionate energy during the performance of both dance and song I felt tears.  Proper tears.  This was me.  I was always on stage.  Always performing somehow,  somewhere,  not fantastically but filling my veins with spark and passion and life.

Writing this now with emotion, I feel the tears.

 

I’d forgotten to keep singing.  

 

Why?

 

People,  some people.  There have been times when,  hypothetically speaking, people have said, “Stop singing.”

 

That’s hurt me to the core.

So I stopped.

 

What now?  What happened is pretty much what happens to a wilted flower.  I’ve been worrying about things like

Not being liked

Paying the bills

Keeping my business afloat

Ensuring I’m a good enough mum

Looking for perfection in those around me

 

All the time feeling disappointed.  Why was I worrying about all that stuff?  I never used to.  I was happy and spirited.  Without any money or flash things.

Why was I happy?

 

Because I sang………….

 

Affirmation:

I sing with joy and pleasure to fill me up with life.

 

What fills your veins with passion and life?

 

Do your ‘thing’ then all the other stuff comes easier.  With me realising I need to sing again  (and singing at every opportunity right now) there has been a flow of ease into my life leading me onto my dreams coming true.