Can’t sleep!

Tomorrow, tomorrow……….

 

Well, I fly tomorrow.  

 

That’s why I can’t sleep then, makes sense.

 

My dog snores at my feet,  my darling baby girl lets a long sigh out from next to me.

 

And I blog!

 

Love writing, I’m so lucky for such an accessable thing to be “my thing”.

 

I’m waxed,  plucked, threaded,  big nails on, roots done,  as near to perfect as I’ll ever get without more Gym visits.  Bad decision, suspending my gym membership. I’d hoped to be under 9 stone now ready to ride the sexy cowboy without worries of wobbles.  Alas,  there will be wobbles.

 

Can’t explain my feelings.  Excitement has subsided for something else.  Not sure what.  Maybe because I’m not sure right now exactly what is happening in my life.  Is baby going to come visit here? ?i will need to tidy and clear the old love letters from the top of the wardrobe.  His insane jelousy would cause a huge problem there.

Jelousy.  Can’t even spell it.

 

My writing style shows a numbness.  I feel it too.  For so long now I have known a romance of facebook messages and skype chats without all the physical stuff and seeing each others eyes properly without the glare of a computer screen reflecting in the eyes. There is bound to be some kind of apprehension.

 

Yet if this visit goes the way I have dreamed of for so many long months now, then in 30 hours I will be in total fantasy land.  He really is my fantasy that every girl dreams of.  If the jelousy gets in the way I will consciously take a moment to breathe, then smile, then reassure him that of course he has no need to be jelous.  

If only he could get inside my head for 2 minutes and see the love that I have for him.  One which would never risk what we have for a quick smile somewhere else.  He gives me the biggest smiles anyway.

 

Ohh,  been awake for nights and nights now.  I’ve another long day ahead catching up on work that I wont be doing for the next couple of weeks.  Although thanks to yesterdays generous tips I have managed to slot in for a £5 discounted file and varnish for french toenails! Bikini ready I am……..now if only I had an amazing bikini.  

 

Exercise tomorrow will firm up some bits! ……………hang on………..tomorrow????

 

TOMORROW!!!!!

 

OMFG………..

 

I’ll be seeing baby tomorrow.  I wonder if i can remember his smell…………

 

I want to post again tomorrow from the airport or event he plane,  let you all hear my screams of excitement as I cannot contain the realisation that I’m off to see the man of my dreams.

 

I’m so lucky.  Thank you world……

 

Much love guys…..(please subscribe and leave a nice comment!)

 

Lola x

Hairy Legs at the gym – people watching

Hairy legs at the Gym

 

After missing going to the gym for far too long, I decided to go in for a big big session.  Not only do I need to get this bod into shape ready for Baby to explore in great detail but I need to get the lymph system pumping enough to remove the toxins that the candida die off is releasing.

 

Candida die off can be horrible.  Yet I’ve decided to eat as I like, just take the Yeast Raiders supplement from Holland and Barret.  Currently the surface of my tongue is peeling in little holes.  Ewwww not so nice and a little bit sore.  Still, something is working as I have managed to find enough energy to get to the gym.

 

Rowing machine first, every time.  Mentally writing my blog in my head as I row,  I was watching the clock in anticipation.  Usually I love to get 10 minutes of warm up on the machine but was expecting 5 today as I felt I hadn’t been in so long.  Well, gosh, surprised myself when the 10 minutes was up and I decided to keep going another 7 minutes.

 

Energy! YESSSSSSS…….how I missed you!

 

“Sam” on the cross trainer was a total entertainment system in herself. I caught sight of her before at Weight Watchers years ago when she was telling the leader that if you use the system cleverly enough you can actually eat 5 doughnuts in a day and conform with the rules! haha.

Well, she was still as fat as ever and wearing totally inappropriate clothes for her figure.  Muffin tops? No, this was way more than that problem.

I thought for a minute she was falling off the cross trainer then realised she was ‘grooving on down’ to her iPod! Oh goodness, really??

 

Watching her more and more I was totally bemused to see that she had hands up, hands down, singing.  Conducting the music, oh goodness.  Was it admiration? Or ridicule? I knew she had the personality to match due to the doughnut eating claim…..

 

Pausing to catch my breath I looked down at my 3/4 length trousers riding up,  vacantly checking the growth on the hairs on my legs….16 more days until I get them waxed in perfect time for my trip to Egypt.  Would the growth be adequate?  Hmm, hoping so,  they tend to be ok, be ok, be ok, be ok then whooosssshhhh…………off they GROW and it’s please please please can my waxing appointment arrive!

 

Chatting to my nameless friend who works at the gym as I was leaving, I said:

“That girl is certainly enjoying her music on the cross trainer isn’t she!”

“Oh Sam! Oh god yeah, she’s disgusting!” She exclaimed.

“Well, i remember her from Weight Watchers……” I continued to explain about the doughnuts, “…….and I know she’s here all the time, yet she’s as fat as ever!”

“And her mouth is vile too! I heard her telling all the others who were talking to her who always say ‘oh sam you’re so funny’ about the cucumber her husband stuck up her arse then how she chopped it up and put it in her mother in law’s salad!!!”

 

I didn’t know to see admiration or disgust! Either way, I hope it made you smile?

 

Love always

 

Lola xxx

Lola Scrambled Egg Brain….

Feeling like my brain has just turned to Scrambled Egg…..

 

What’s up with me? Well, everything is everywhere, I was really hoping to plough on with writing my latest book today but can’t settle.

 

You ever had that? When you can’t settle? I’ve been round all the coffee shops trying to settle and they are all too busy on a Saturday for me to sit at my PC.

 

The expert in me would say, meditate.  Yet I think more,  recognise

 

I’m recognising that I work well on deadlines.  If I have lots to do and a time to fit it in, I will go hell for leather to make it happen.  If it’s an open ended thing I drag my heels a bit.

 

So, I’m hoping to build a new website,  to promote my new book,  write my current book, re brand myself and promote my coaching services. 

 

Why oh why can’t I?

 

I’m thinking of a land far away, with blue clear waters and red fireball skies.  My gorgeous baby is waiting impatiently for me to get there.  We spend all this time on the internet chatting (thank God for the internet) and yet what we really need is to lay together, gazing into each others dark brown eyes and just be ‘in love’…….

 

11 more nights until I jet off. I’m so excited and very unsettled.  Will he be flying back with me to this country?  Will he never come? Will we get married soon?  Have a baby?  I guess work is coming slowly as I have no idea what I should be thinking.  If he comes,  he will help with the finances.  If he doesn’t,  I need to be my brilliant self and helping the businesses enough that they reward me generously and I can “pop over to Egypt for a long weekend”…….without a blink!

 

Sigh.  Thanks for listening…….much love from 

 

Lola, Scrambled Egg head. xx