Nights out in Sharm = Crying and girls from Essex
Walking from our special beach where baby and I can sit together, I sunk my toes into the sand. Crossing from our special beach over the border to the beach of the resort where he works. Walking alone was fine, you see not only is he not allowed onto the grounds while he’s not working but he would get fired for crossing the line.
At the beach bar, Ahmed greeted me with a smile as I passed. We always hi 5 casually. Funny really, I’m so comfortable speaking Arabic to “the boys”. Knowing them well enough that they would appreciate my efforts while also not feeling coy in front of my boo. So we greeted with “hello how are you? Thank god I’m really good and lovely thanks. All good. Thank god” seems to be the closest translation. Tourists sitting at Ahmeds bar look on in amusement! Funny really. Makes me feel so clever.
“So it’s your last night tonight?” He asked.
“Not really, it’s my last night out, we are staying home on my last night.”
“Ohh everyone is coming out tonight as we thought it was your last night.”
My insides did a little leap and a “woop woop”. Though as baby hadnt mentioned that I was guessing maybe I wasn’t meant to know.
Everyone was coming out. Great night in store for me!
Thinking I would wear the faithful dress that always makes me feel nice (I’d hated nearly all the photos so far, I was looking fat standing next to Mr gorgeous), I asked baby, “what shall I wear?”
Now not many men would notice what you wear from one day to the next.
“What about that little black one you wore once before?”
Hmm ok I was happy with that choice. Even happier that here was a fella who knew what he liked.
Sharing a couple of quiet drinks in our place was nice before we went out. Afraid of getting emotional, I didn’t want to drink too much. Yet needed loosening up!
Heading to McDonalds was a great idea. I was starvin’. Also, there was a chance to flash a friendly smile to the skinny little fella who works there. We made friends with him one night. Well, I made friends and baby was happy with that. Brilliant progress!
A few nights before that, baby left me outside while he went in to buy food. I was too nervous about that. So I made friends with the skinny bloke. Bless him it was clearly his job to walk around sweeping up the floor. He did that thing people do instead of using verbal language. He smiled broadly and nodded his head like a gestured hello. To which I replied,
“Salam Ali com. Enta amilie?”
And we exchanged my best Arabic.
Guessing his English was limited i whispered to baby as he sat back down, “speak nicely to the man, be nice, he has a crappy job.” I was being rudely honest due to alcohol consumption. So off they went in proper Arabic, leaving me smiling broadly and head nodding!
Each night we returned I wanted the skinny guy to feel he had made a friend in me and baby. Although on the last night out, it was inappropriate to tell him I was leaving. We weren’t great friends like that.
After eating we ventured into our favourite bar with just one friend there. They were all working as we were early. I expect looking at their watches hoping to finish soon.
This friend was known as skinny Mohamed. We’d previously had a joke about squeezing his skinny cheeks with pinched fingers. As he returned the pinch to my hamster cheeks it provided much laughter. After a sherbet drink, I was ready for more cheek pulling. My turn first, I laughed as I encouraged him to my hamster cheeks.
Baby was feeling protective. Right away he stood up putting one of his huge hands into skinny Mohamed’s chest with his right hand clenched as a fist ready to defend me. Now, woahhhhh while this was totally unnecessary I actually found that quite sexy. I’d never seen him like that before. I knew he could fight. Cos I ALWAYS loose as we play fight wrestling stylie.
Later in the night, baby decided on many many drunken occasions to keep picking me up! At one stage, he cradled me like a baby! I knew everyone could see my knickers….
Some English guy who had joined our table raised his hand to smack my bum. Big mistake! I knew what was coming next and it felt like it happened in a heartbeat. Baby quickly put me down and showed a samurai face to this big muscle man and said, “be nice!” Which meant so much more than be nice.
Feeling more in love with my hero, while being careful not to encourage yobbishness, I hugged him in a tighter than average hug. Hugging me back he felt my chest moving as I started to get emotional. Then I really cried. Like really cried.
Knowing what was wrong he said, ” goto the bathroom get some tissue”.
Having such an amazing time, why would I cry? Not yet, cry tomorrow. Last day tomorrow.
Opening the toilet door I revealed total vacancy. Noone. Thank god. So.
I wailed.
Less than a minute later in walked miss world. Tight white dress, no lumpy bits, back combed hair (the higher it is the closer it gets to heaven), eyelashes longer than my fringe and just gorgeous. She was gorgeous.
“Awee sweetheart” she just came straight over and cuddled me. Never seen this lady before. God bless her.
“I’m ok I’m ok. I just gotta go home soon and it’s so hard at home, isn’t it?! And my fella lives out here.
And he’s so perfect.
And I love him so much.
And how do I live without him <more wailing>?”
She took my tissue out my hand.
“Come here, you’ve got black all round your eyes. ” she dabbed away the black.
Giving me no feedback on what I’d said, which wouldn’t have been helpful, I realised she was doing that thing I try to teach men. Sometimes, girls hug and squeeze each other And say, “there there”. Guys hear you say,
“I’d like an answer please, what do you recommend.”
At times we need “there there”.
Miss world was an angel sent from heaven.
“Look, look in here…..I’ve got everything,” she said opening up her bag, “what do you need?”
“Oh. Have you got lipstick?” I asked blondely. As she applied my lipstick I asked, “where are you from? Don’t tell me Essex?”
“No, near Brighton”
Ahhh. She looked like a perfect Essex girl. So lovely.
I never got to know her name. But I loved what she did. Sweet act of kindness.
“Is best I go now, he will send out the search party for me.” And out I went back into the club. Just as baby was popping champagne…..
My drunken eyes widened as I screamed “oh!” In the direction of Ahmed who had brought the celebration drink. So we all got a glass and we all drank some.
Dance time. Smiling widely with new lipstick applied by miss world, baby took me by the hand in the direction of the dance floor. I passed miss world with a big smile And gave her a high five! She winked, knowingly.
Lola Ismile 