Can’t sleep!

Tomorrow, tomorrow……….

 

Well, I fly tomorrow.  

 

That’s why I can’t sleep then, makes sense.

 

My dog snores at my feet,  my darling baby girl lets a long sigh out from next to me.

 

And I blog!

 

Love writing, I’m so lucky for such an accessable thing to be “my thing”.

 

I’m waxed,  plucked, threaded,  big nails on, roots done,  as near to perfect as I’ll ever get without more Gym visits.  Bad decision, suspending my gym membership. I’d hoped to be under 9 stone now ready to ride the sexy cowboy without worries of wobbles.  Alas,  there will be wobbles.

 

Can’t explain my feelings.  Excitement has subsided for something else.  Not sure what.  Maybe because I’m not sure right now exactly what is happening in my life.  Is baby going to come visit here? ?i will need to tidy and clear the old love letters from the top of the wardrobe.  His insane jelousy would cause a huge problem there.

Jelousy.  Can’t even spell it.

 

My writing style shows a numbness.  I feel it too.  For so long now I have known a romance of facebook messages and skype chats without all the physical stuff and seeing each others eyes properly without the glare of a computer screen reflecting in the eyes. There is bound to be some kind of apprehension.

 

Yet if this visit goes the way I have dreamed of for so many long months now, then in 30 hours I will be in total fantasy land.  He really is my fantasy that every girl dreams of.  If the jelousy gets in the way I will consciously take a moment to breathe, then smile, then reassure him that of course he has no need to be jelous.  

If only he could get inside my head for 2 minutes and see the love that I have for him.  One which would never risk what we have for a quick smile somewhere else.  He gives me the biggest smiles anyway.

 

Ohh,  been awake for nights and nights now.  I’ve another long day ahead catching up on work that I wont be doing for the next couple of weeks.  Although thanks to yesterdays generous tips I have managed to slot in for a £5 discounted file and varnish for french toenails! Bikini ready I am……..now if only I had an amazing bikini.  

 

Exercise tomorrow will firm up some bits! ……………hang on………..tomorrow????

 

TOMORROW!!!!!

 

OMFG………..

 

I’ll be seeing baby tomorrow.  I wonder if i can remember his smell…………

 

I want to post again tomorrow from the airport or event he plane,  let you all hear my screams of excitement as I cannot contain the realisation that I’m off to see the man of my dreams.

 

I’m so lucky.  Thank you world……

 

Much love guys…..(please subscribe and leave a nice comment!)

 

Lola x

Lola Scrambled Egg Brain….

Feeling like my brain has just turned to Scrambled Egg…..

 

What’s up with me? Well, everything is everywhere, I was really hoping to plough on with writing my latest book today but can’t settle.

 

You ever had that? When you can’t settle? I’ve been round all the coffee shops trying to settle and they are all too busy on a Saturday for me to sit at my PC.

 

The expert in me would say, meditate.  Yet I think more,  recognise

 

I’m recognising that I work well on deadlines.  If I have lots to do and a time to fit it in, I will go hell for leather to make it happen.  If it’s an open ended thing I drag my heels a bit.

 

So, I’m hoping to build a new website,  to promote my new book,  write my current book, re brand myself and promote my coaching services. 

 

Why oh why can’t I?

 

I’m thinking of a land far away, with blue clear waters and red fireball skies.  My gorgeous baby is waiting impatiently for me to get there.  We spend all this time on the internet chatting (thank God for the internet) and yet what we really need is to lay together, gazing into each others dark brown eyes and just be ‘in love’…….

 

11 more nights until I jet off. I’m so excited and very unsettled.  Will he be flying back with me to this country?  Will he never come? Will we get married soon?  Have a baby?  I guess work is coming slowly as I have no idea what I should be thinking.  If he comes,  he will help with the finances.  If he doesn’t,  I need to be my brilliant self and helping the businesses enough that they reward me generously and I can “pop over to Egypt for a long weekend”…….without a blink!

 

Sigh.  Thanks for listening…….much love from 

 

Lola, Scrambled Egg head. xx